travail au noir


• cronica Numéro Nove

traduction : si les portes de la perception étaient limpides, toute chose apparaîtrait aux humain(e)s telles qu’elles sont : infinies… – William Blake

mais pour nous le monde est fini… terminado… coulé dans la matière… concret…

et pourtant…

tellement plus qu’on pense en ce bas et haut monde… plus grand, plus insoupçonné, plus surprenant…

en fait la vie n’en finit plus de ne pas finir… si on ne fait que la laisser se déployer en soi, elle peut réellement nous surprendre… dans un sens comme dans l’autre… et comme dit mon gourou préféré, there is no extasy without agony

je sais, je sais, vous n’aimez pas entendre ça…

car vous ne voulez que le beau, le bon, le meilleur… que de l’extase…

et pourtant…

vous me direz que la souffrance n’est qu’un conditionnement aux relents cathos, qu’il ne fait pas absolument souffrir pour être belle… que l’idée qu’il faille gagner son ciel est dépassée…

mais pourtant… 

no extasy without agony mes ami(e)s… sinon, prouvez-moi le contraire…

car au fond, ni agonie, ni ecstase… que des sensations, des expériences, que de la vie qui nous passe dedans et qui ramène au fond… parfois on résiste, parfois on apprend… mas jamais n’a-t-on vraiment le choix… c’est la vie qui décide et quand c’est le temps de mettre son nez dans la boue, so be it…

en ce sens, les médecines psychoactives, dont le Daime (ayahuasca), peuvent être messy beaucoup… beaucoup messy… mais tout de même, au bout du compte, on ne peut que dire : merci beaucoup pour les enseignementset les saignements, car l’âme devra saigner un peu au cours de cette descente en soi…

car tout ce que cette spirale descendante nous montre est riche et incontournable… si on regarde, si on ouvre les yeux et qu’on voit ce qui recouvre le joyau… et pour monter, il faut pouvoir descendre… et tout ce qui monte redescend à ce que l’on dit…

car les détours pris dans ces contextes nous révèlent des choses du plus profond de soi auxquelles on ne choisirait pas nécessairement de toucher si on avait vraiment le choix… mais le choix est un concept variable…

et dans le cadre des cérémonies, on touche souvent à un inconfort plus ou moins grand, plus ou moins dérangeant… souvent plus que moins d’ailleurs… mais ici le choix n’est pas optionnel… les choses s’imposent d’elles-mêmes… et nous entraînent exactement là ou l’on doit aller…

alors on travaille dans le noir,  on zigonne en-dessous de la table… et on va au fond des choses… là où ça compte vraiment… et quand on en émerge, c’est toujours avec plus de légèreté, plus d’aisance… comme un grand soulagement…

alors osons l’inconfort… car là, en son centre, réside le confort ultime… là réside Dieu…



Discomfort is medicine and a profound teaching if we don’t resist it. It’s the only place where true healing and growth happens. It also requires faith and trust and most of all letting go. But one of the most struggling things is for people to “go there” because real shadow work and confronting your fears (most of them unconscious) and stored trauma in the body is not a walk in the park, far from it. We can read books and quotes about it and may understand it intellectually but the work itself is painful, scary, messy and requires immense courage, but not the courage of being “tough”. It’s the courage to not resist discomfort, not escape into the head or back into your comfort zone, but to be vulnerable and feel it all in the body, for the healing only happens through the body, beyond any intellectual analysis.

That’s where the rubber hits the road when it comes to self-work and the internal alchemical fire for transmutation gets ignited through the friction of discomfort and “conscious suffering” as Gurdjieff and many other teachers have talked about, without resisting it, escaping it, nor projecting it outwardly by blaming others or your situation. It requires incredible self-ownership and responsibility for everything you feel.

The only way out is through and there IS light at the end of the tunnel as you realize on a deep embodied level (not just intellectually) that any fear you have had was just an illusion and didn’t reflect your true self, or that you have taken on stuff that is not yours to carry; that you always did the best you could at anytime of your life based on where you were at. Forgiveness for self and others plays a big part in it. That unconditional acceptance of what “is” opens the space for healing on much deeper levels.

For example, you may have intellectually realized what your “issues” are, but as long as it’s not embodied and released through your body and felt deeply within you, all you create is a mask, armor and buffers (mostly unconsciously) to avoid facing yourself, while believing you have already worked through your “stuff”.

As Gurdjieff said “you have to pay with yourself” and no one else can “pay” or do the work for you. The same goes for knowledge and information. You can “understand” things intellectually from books and writings, but you can only apply Knowledge if it’s truly embodied and hence live it, as opposed to just having a mental idea about it.

Important to keep mind is that we cannot do “self-work” on our own all the time, especially since we all have blindspots and triggers that only appear in relationship. By “relationship” I don’t mean just romantic, but our relations to everyone and everything, because relationship is all there is: how you relate to everyone and anything in your daily life, the food you eat, the streets you walk, the nature surrounding you, the situations you find yourself in, the people you meet and interact with, any “thing” you have, how you relate to yourself, etc.

It’s so easy to resist and complain in our daily lives and find fault in anything that is not the way we “like” things to be, most often based on our conditioned preferences (resulting in shadow projections), our self-importance (identification with our personality/ego) and our social/cultural conditioning that has removed us from nature and who we truly are.

However, a “healer” doesn’t heal you. A healer is someone who triggers within you, your own ability to heal yourself. Your own body knows what to do and it is always striving towards wholeness and healing (on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) if given the space to do so. You have the power all within yourself and you are your own healer, even though we all need assistance sometimes (asking for help can be very challenging for some people) to have the space and safety to let it happen.

With regards to this Time of Transition/Bifurcation and its effect on the sovereign individual during this time and age, there are various choices most people make, consciously or unconsciously, and to varying degrees (these choices can also overlap):

You resist the planetary changes underway, and outwardly-project your own internal discomfort onto others and your situations (shadow projection), getting caught up in the trap of blaming, complaining, reactive/mechanical behavior, and victim consciousness – all of which are responses that the Matrix wants (and feeds off) while it drains your own life force and inner power.

In order to resist the discomfort, you numb yourself with distractions and addictions (anything from drugs, sex, internet, games, and TV, to co-dependent relationships, shopping, work, food, parties, sports, gossip, etc.), creating an artificial “happiness” and more masks so as to avoid feeling the internal friction and unpleasant emotions. This distraction program can also include a spiritual “opiate”: getting hooked on false light/New Age teachings which result in spiritual bypassing and over-estimating your level of embodiment and awareness; or you look for a “quick fix”, a short cut and/or “magic pill” (including psychedelics and medicine plants) which are all very common in today’s fast-food spirituality industry, and that can have detrimental effects on your inner development – making you “dream that you are awake but [you in fact] are still asleep” [Gurdjieff].

This numbing and/or fast-track approach often results in people getting caught up in head-centric living (male aspect of consciousness), trying to “go too fast”, cutting themselves off from their body and internal guidance systems (feminine aspect of consciousness), hence becoming more impressionable and suggestible to outside influences (thus losing the ability to discern between truth and lies) (also the basis for becoming/being authoritarian followers (like the belief in government, i.e. Stockholm Syndrome), especially subliminal matrix mind control programming (as well as hyperdimensional interference).

If Being (level of embodiment) is not aligned with the pursuit of Knowledge, there is no Understanding (applied/embodied knowledge, not just intellectual information). The process of awakening cannot be rushed, and you don’t get to “move on” until you learn your particular lessons (which are different for each of us); all of this is occurring from a soul perspective, which your mind/ego cannot perceive/understand – and, in fact, is afraid of …and actively resists.

The other choice to make in light of conscious soul evolution and alignment with your higher self’s purpose/’Divine Will’ is as follows:

You enter the “fire” of transmutation consciously – without resisting the resulting discomfort – via a sincere engagement with self-work/embodiment practices, seeking truth while letting everything that is in the way of reconnecting you to who you truly are (under the many masks of social/cultural programming and personality/ego identification) burn away, so as to open your heart to its connection with the Divine, i.e., your unique purpose that’s found on an embodied soul level.

This work is about transforming your “ego” into a healthy vessel (not destroying it, as some distorted religions teach) for spirit to work though you, so that you are not influenced by external suggestions or internal conditioning which may result in you exhibiting mechanical/reactive behaviors.

Non-resistance doesn’t imply that you avoid standing up for yourself, or that you remove healthy boundaries and put up with abuse. It’s about letting go of any resistance to the internal friction of evolution while still “resisting” the thought injections of the “predator mind” – those mechanical/reactive behaviors and concurrent influences, temptations and programming/mind control implants which represent attempts by the Matrix to lock your thought-waves into its frequency. Being able to establish healthy boundaries – and cultivating discernment with regards to who we surround ourselves with – is a key element of emancipation, alongside the ability to avoid falling into the trap of “blind compassion”

– Bernhard Guenther


Real shadow work does not leave us intact; it is not some neat and tidy process, but rather an inherently messy one, as vital and unpredictably alive as birth. The ass it kicks is the one upon which we are sitting; the pain it brings is the pain we’ve been fleeing most of our life; the psycho emotional breakdowns it catalyzes are doors that have shown up year after year in our dreams, awaiting our entry. Real shadow work not only breaks us down, but breaks us open.”

– Robert Augusts Masters


Entrez vos coordonnées ci-dessous ou cliquez sur une icône pour vous connecter:


Vous commentez à l'aide de votre compte Déconnexion /  Changer )

Photo Google

Vous commentez à l'aide de votre compte Google. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Image Twitter

Vous commentez à l'aide de votre compte Twitter. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Photo Facebook

Vous commentez à l'aide de votre compte Facebook. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Connexion à %s